The Bus Came by...

Skippin through the lily fields I came across an empty space,
It trembled and exploded, left a bus stop in its place.
The bus came by and I got on, thats when it all began,
There was cowboy neal at the wheel of the bus to never ever land.

 

 Will you be there???

 

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She's Such a Doll

This Sunday I attended a doll workshop with a local artisan. She produces beautiful handmade dolls and animals that she so lovingly calls, Radyshes. My children have acquired a couple of her dolls over the years. We got  our first, Daisy, by chance, at one of the Hartsbrook School's Holiday Fair raffles. Our second was my two-year-old's Christmas present from Santa. Apparently Santa prefers handmade too!!! She quickly and creatively called her Dollia(said like the flower). Here's Ayda with her...

After admiring these dolls every year and making a few Waldorf dolls of different styles myself, I've been determined to learn the methods behind this particular doll. It's not as easy as it looks to create evenly stuffed and toned body parts. Nor is it easy to sew eyes that are of consistent shapes. I spent the day with a group of new women and learned some new techniqes that can be applied to my own unfolding methods. 

Before this workshop I was determined that this doll would be mine. A beautiful creation made by my own hands to adorn my bed and keep me company when my husband stays up late...

Who am I kidding? I'm a sucker for kids toys, but especially handmade dolls! There's nothing like the comfort and security that comes from having a cuddly item to accompany you every where. As adults we have our partners, nice cars, our homes, but our children have few truly loved items. The perfect doll that goes everywhere with you, to school, the doctors, tea parties and vacations, is a precious gift and will be remembered through the child's entire life. Since the loss of Ember's friend and family member, Sallica, there hasn't been another doll that Ember has thought special enough to take her place. Until yesterday...

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House becomes a Home

One of my very best friends is going to have a baby. I'm sure most of you have a close friend or relative that has gotten pregnant and filled you with anticipation and excitement. This pregnancy is especially exciting for me! She had convinced me in all our years of friendship that another baby was NOT a possibility. But, Lo and behold, I receive a call out of the blue in late summer asking me where I'd be in March of this year. I thought she'd lost her marbles, going overboard, planning another large family and friend get together, as she is a marvelous hostess! But, NO...she wanted to know where'd i'd be so that I could mark my calendar for the days she may possibly need me to be there waiting for the arrival of little Julia Rose!!! Well, my calendar is clear, the husband on standby, and my giddiness is through the roof. I've had close friends have babies before, but none that have lived near me and feel so much like family that I can hold, love, and kiss their babies!

This particular friend already has one child, a nice house, husband, and supportive mother. I learned with the birth of my third that you are given what you need to complete your life, whether intentionally or not. This new little girl will round out her family so nicely. She will be the perfect piece to complete their puzzle and this knowledge makes my heart swell just a little. 

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It Doesn't Last Forever

This song, among many others, is on a loop in my head this week. It's worth sharing...

The other one I'm going to share is so relative for this transitional time in our country. I pray for peace among all nations. Better yet, I pray for peace within each individual's heart. Let's start a fire, People!
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Love Letter

Dear Winter,

You are back with your cold, hard facade.

Yeah, you look tough. You make me a little angry sometimes with the icy driveway, slow commute, multiple complicated layers of clothing, and ruined plans. OH, and Don't get me started on the pneumonia, Influenza, and stomach viruses you toss around in abundance like candy at a parade!

My body tells me to hate you. My skin cracks, my lips chap, my eyebrows even furrow when I focus too long on your presence. I have to tell you though, Winter, I've grown to love you.

When the days are short and the dark falls over my home like a closing casket, it actually comforts me. It slows me down and allows me to feel the freeze that simultaneously takes place in my life when you are around. Ever since having children I've felt out of place a little fickle and torn. I'm always asking myself how I got here and what to do next. You've shed some light on the answers for me though. 

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I finally had a breakdown

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Things and such, also.

With only a few days until the Presidential Election I couldn't be more excited! Not so much because there is a particular candidate that I'm on fire for, but just to see that it's over, will be such a relief. Even though there's no way I'd vote for McCain and Palin,  just as the election between Kerry and Bush, I'm not that excited about Obama. Oh, he says a lot of wonderful things. I'm just such a cynic. In such a backwards society where pasteurized cow's milk is held in higher esteem than a mother's breast milk, the belief that food is better the way nature made it is a crunchy "new-age" idea, where ideals and intolerance are put before love as priority, that babies being electively cut from their mother's womb is the way to go, I have a hard time believing that the change I want to see in the world will be brought about through any political machine or legislation. More difficult for me is the belief that in a society so backwards, we would choose a candidate that a majority of people seem to like, and he would be one to turn this nation in the proper direction.

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Thanks, Stranger

Thank you, dear stranger, in the maroon Nissan...

Today, as I crept my large pale blue Hyundai Entourage out into the intersection of route 9 from a private side road,  you nonchalantly continued to drive. You even pretended to glance at something, perhaps a falling leaf, on the other side of the road, while all the while my van's nose jutted obtrusively out into your lane. Instead of giving me the hairy eyeball or clenching your jaw and giving me the bird, you cooly and calmly let your life continue without giving any attention to the terrible automotive faux pas I committed. You have proven to me, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that there is, indeed one human being left who does not have a terrible case of road rage. In fact, I didn't even see you mutter a profanity. Perhaps you hissed or sighed a bit when your heart skipped a beat at the sight of my creeping blue tank nosing it's way into your lane so I could see who was coming. There you were, 10 feet from my bumper, I saw you! Just in time. And you, kind sir, gave me no notice. You allowed me to feel that people can almost make a mistake, but then realize it and be cut a break.

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Eight and counting...

Today Nova turned 8. We had the grandparents, one uncle, and a friend (of Nova's choice, of course, I enjoyed them too) with their parents come over to spend our day with us. It was a nice and sunny day outside and Nova woke up with a burst of excited energy. He is so convinced that each year he will have grown a foot taller and he most impresses himself with the thought of soon being taller than his grandma Pam, who is a bit over 5 feet. Eight years ago today my life changed in the most monumental sense. I knew, as I sat up through the night alone in a rocking chair and crying in the room I had made for him, while having contractions, that my life would never be the same. I just didn't understand the complexity, the intensity, or the difficulty of the transition. He was, and still is, a bubbly, creative, and intense little boy. He believes in magic. He believes in compassion. He believes in forgiveness. But most of all he believes in me. Happy birthday to my boy who has grown, not only in size, but in spirit and heart!

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Home

I've been home a little over three weeks. I immediately fell right back into my old, comfortable routine of hiding out at my house and doing little out in the great wide world. I've ventured out to see a few friends, but have made it a point to enjoy these last schedule free, careless days of summer. When this summer began I had images of myself being so frazzled and angry that I would ruin my relationship with those I care about the most, my husband and children. The exact opposite has occured. I'm not sure how I managed to make it through the entire summer with little to no help, no camps, and no real playdates whatsoever. I will say that the time spent in the South was liberating and peaceful. Life there is so different from here in the North. Parenting isn't really a verb they use. Parents are just people who stumbled into the job of raising kids by passion or marriage. They still maintain some sense of their own identity. Every decision they make isn't the crucial and monumental end or beginning of a new direction for their children. There's a great deal of thought put into being a parent here in the North. We sometimes over educate, over stimulate, over perpetuate our own world views, so much so that at 8 years old we have mini politicians, philosophers, and psychologists. I'm guilty of this myself. I have talked and intellectualized with my child so much that sometimes I see him as a peer. BIG MISTAKE, I know. But, to my credit, I have lived a very home based existence with my children, not over scheduling them with extracurricular activities to lessen the burden upon myself. So, yes, they retain a lot of their child like qualities too, more so than most kids I meet anyway. And, Honestly...I'm in no rush to watch them grow up. The South somehow enabled me to relax and yet to become more confident in what it is that I'm doing as a parent here.

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